Breakups are the worst, whether it’s your first or your 20th. Even though you think you’ve got the whole thing figured out after your 20th time, post-breakup there’s always something new that arises, whether it’s anger, regret or longing – sometimes all three, altogether.
It’s hella hard to move on, even if you’ve eaten gallons of Ben & Jerry’s and binged on Netflix until it comes out of your ears. Perhaps eating ice cream and watching a series is not the best solace for you to get over someone. Perhaps you need something else, but don’t know anything else but this “formula”. Some people bounce back after a new hairdo, some don’t. Some quickly get under someone else or jump head first into a new long-term relationship. Others are into ghosting or the flip-side of that is online stalking whilst the rest of us have to first grieve and mourn. Who’s to say what works?
The zodiac, that’s who. Knowing our astrology sign gives us a serious edge when it comes to one of the most stressful life events we can go through, bad breakup, or not. If we have a list, specifically made for us, we can religiously turn to it, whether we’ve been blindsided or decided we’ve had enough.
Read on to explore three tips to bounce back and get ready to open your heart for love and affection again according to your zodiac sign:
3 TIPS FOR AN ARIES TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Aries dates: March 20 - April 19)
They didn’t know what they had, Aries, and you have fought long and hard for too long already. Luckily, your zodiac sign moves on fast, and in the meantime, here are three useful tips to moving onward and upwards:
1. Go back to gym/climbing/running/skydiving. Seriously – you love working out, and when it happens over a breakup, along with the crazy weight loss that always comes with the end, you’ll be so hot and toned, and totally ready for your next fun-loving conquest in no time at all!
2. Remind yourself how awesome you are. You really are, Aries. You’re brave, strong and sexy, don’t forget that!
3. Be patient. You will get over this, in like, a week, tops. It hurts now, but it’s a quick hurt that will soon pass and remember to be flirtatious!
3 TIPS FOR A TAURUS TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Taurus dates: April 20 - May 20)
It’s rare for any relationship to end for you, Taurus, since you hate change, no matter how mean bae has been to you. However, if the improbable has come to an end, your greatest strength is going to be your patience to see the process through. In the meantime, here are some great tips to help you find your next romance:
1. Eat. Lots. Food is your new girlfriend/boyfriend, Taurus, so indulge yourself. You’ll find a lot of comfort in a (gf or veggie) cheesy lasagne or the proverbial tub of ice cream.
2. Go shopping. Nothing says joy to you as much as retail therapy, Taurus, so go out there and get yourself that snazzy new wardrobe. Haters gonna hate, so don’t hold back!
3. Watch loads of Netflix. Lose yourself in a marathon binge of reruns of The Big Bang Theory, and watch time slip by.
3 TIPS FOR A GEMINI TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Gemini dates: May 21 - June 20)
You couldn’t make the choice, could you, Gemini? Or you did and it backfired? Your zodiac sign does tend to get a bit picky and fickle, and even though you’ll find someone else in no time, here’s a few tips to help you get there:
1. Get onto Tinder, pronto. There’s nothing like a good text flirt to set things right in your dating world again. Flattering texts? Yes please!
2. Read loads of articles on how to get over a relationship. Information is power in a Gemini world, and the more you know, the quicker you’ll feel better.
3. Talk about it. Get closure and understand why it ended – it’ll help you move on faster, as much as it may hurt to hear.
3 TIPS FOR A CANCER TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Cancer dates: June 21 - July 21)
This is probably the worst thing to ever happen, ever. Your zodiac sign doesn’t take breakups very well at all, and it can feel like your heart has been cruelly wrenched from its chambers. You’ll carry the torch for years, but here are some ways to let go and make space for someone new, eventually:
1. Cry. Just cry, Cancer. They say that salt-water cures all things – your tears, the ocean and sweat. Let those tears fall and release the grief. It’ll heal you in the long run.
2. Watch a lot of Grey’s Anatomy. This will help the crying.
3. Don’t go back. Seriously, just don’t – there’s nothing there for you and your real soulmate is still out there, promise.
3 TIPS FOR A LEO TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Leo dates: July 22 - August 22)
First of all, it’s downright shocking that someone wouldn’t want to be with you, Leo. Are they insane? Do they even realize how much love you have to give? It’s their loss, anyway. Either way, here are some tips to help your zodiac sign move on:
1. Don’t look for affirmation. At least, not from them. You don’t need to define your worth based on what someone else thinks of you.
2. Get a new haircut. This will heal you like nothing else – taking care of your mane is the ultimate way to show the world you are totally over it and ready for someone new.
3. Go dancing. Go shake your booty, Leo, preferably on a stage where everyone can see and admire you.
3 TIPS FOR A VIRGO TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Virgo dates: August 23 - September 22)
It’s not your fault, Virgo. Breakups are often not personal, so try not to turn inward, no one is perfect. You love a good list, so here are three tips you can add to help you get over a broken heart:
1. Be kind to yourself. Turn that critical voice away and stop hurting yourself, realize you did everything you could and take a gentler, less judgmental attitude towards yourself.
2. Find a new routine. It’s likely bae messed up your day anyway, so take this time to make a new schedule for yourself, and discover the peace that lies here.
3. Detox. Seriously, go on a juice fast and pretend the pounds you’re shedding is your relationship. You’ll feel and look loads better.
3 TIPS FOR A LIBRA TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Libra dates: September 23 - October 22)
This is hard for you, Libra. It’s common knowledge how much your astrology sign gives to your romance, and how you thrive on love. It’s also confusing as to why this even happened, you were so happy right? Here are three ways to get the love you want after a painful split:
1. Flirt your face off. This is guaranteed going to make you feel better. Once you see how easy it is to get another lover, you won’t nurse your breakup for too long.
2. Revamp your look. Whether this is your wardrobe, your hair or getting some work done, tending to your appearance will make you feel like a million dollars.
3. Find out “why”. You’re not scared of that conversation, because in the end, it’ll help you understand how to better do relationships from that point onward.
3 TIPS FOR A SCORPIO TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Scorpio dates: October 23 - November 21)
Kill them and hide the body, Scorpio. Leave a dead horse's head their bed. Destroy their credit rating so they can never get a loan, buy a house or travel ever again. If these options fail, here are three tips to help you get over your horrible, heartless, useless ex:
1. Seek revenge. Whatever that means to you, whether it’s big or small, make sure they are hurting as much as you.
2. Cut them off. Let them know that they’ll never have your loyalty ever again, that they’ll never get access to your sexy AF bod no matter how much they beg. They are dead to you.
3. Get sexy with someone else. Physical connection may be just the thing you need to make you feel desirable, powerful and back in control.
3 TIPS FOR A SAGITTARIUS TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Sagittarius dates: November 22 - December 20)
What relationship? Just kidding Sagittarius. No seriously, if you have had a breakup, you’re probably relieved. Now you can be free again and have fun. If you happen to have a bad day, here are three tips to get over it:
1. Go traveling. This one is obvious, right? Whether it’s a trip up the coast or a pilgrimage to India, make it happen. You’ll forget bae ever existed.
2. Go partying. Grab that bottle of tequila and share it with your friends at a festival, whether you’re 21 or 80. There’s nothing like having fun to help you move on.
3. Be philosophical about it. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe you were too honest, maybe you just weren’t spiritually compatible. It’s totally okay.
3 TIPS FOR A CAPRICORN TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Capricorn dates: December 21 - January 19)
For you, this is more like a divorce, since you were so completely committed, Capricorn. Your zodiac sign is well known for how steadfast and loyal you are, so this may shake you at your foundations. Here are three ways to move on and find new love:
1. Work. Just work. Spend 99% of your time at the office or maybe even start a new business. You’ll be so distracted that bae will drift away to the back of your mind as you focus on business.
2. Detach. No one does it as well as you do, so simply untether yourself emotionally and nurse the hurt alone, working through it all in your own time.
3. Learn. Your astrology sign is wise, Capricorn, so learn from this, and don’t let it stop you from being vulnerable again.
3 TIPS FOR AN AQUARIUS TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Aquarius dates: January 20 - February 17)
Even though most people think you’re all free-spirited and can totally move on and are so completely detached, on some level you’re salty, Aquarius – why? Because you were best friends. And best friends don’t just break up. Here are three ways to make sense of this:
1. Convert them from your bae to your actual bestie. Don’t let go of the relationship if it could have value as a friendship. Perhaps the romance is over, but maybe the friendship has just begun.
2. Communicate. Talk about why this happened, so you can put it to rest and move on.
3. Hang out with mates. Your friends have got you, Aquarius. Spend time being part of your group, especially if you haven’t seen them in a while. It’s balm for your soul.
3 TIPS FOR A PISCES TO GET OVER A RELATIONSHIP (Pisces dates: February 18 - March 19)
Honestly, this is terrible for you, Pisces, and some days it may seem as if you will never stop crying. But, you will – your zodiac sign has the ability to move on much faster from this hard time than you think. Here are three ways to help you get there:
1. Escape from it. However, make them healthy escapes, Pisces. Nature is a good one to disconnect from the hurt and reconnect to something bigger than you. Go dancing. Swim in the ocean. Watch a fantasy series. Read a good book. The list is endless.
2. Do Yoga. You’re spiritual AF and maybe you haven’t realized it yet. Get on your mat already!
3. Listen to music. Melt away into the tunes and allow your emotions to be expressed in all the sad love songs you can imagine. Soon, you’ll be dreaming of your new bae.